At its best, intellectual hospitality takes us deeper than mere tolerance. It calls us to something higher, something better, something that marks our character and transforms our souls. It teaches us to cultivate generosity, humility, kindness, and patience, and it helps us overcome selfishness, insecurity, suspicion, and shame.
— Diana Pavlac Glyer, “Intellectual Hospitality”1
We crave community and are divinely created for relationship, but our society is rapidly pulling apart at the seams. Communication is a fine art, only preserved in practice. Tragically in recent history, communication and civil discourse between people has been exchanged for emojis, sound bites, and memes on social media as we quickly dismiss those with whom we disagree. Dropping a strong opinion in an online thread and scrolling off to the next post distances us from having a true conversation, or even attempting to listen to the ideas of others. We can contribute to the problem or we can choose to listen and purposefully engage in conversation — sharing the gift of what C.S. Lewis calls “intellectual hospitality.”2
While attending graduate school for my MA in Cultural Apologetics, my class was assigned to read an essay entitled “Intellectual Hospitality” by Diana Glyer, professor at Azusa Pacific University. In essence, Glyer best describes this idea as a virtue, to “offer a healthy antidote to the polarization of our age.”3 When presented with an idea in a conversation, book, or film that we may not agree with, how do we respond? Do we care about what this person has to say? The virtue of intellectual hospitality means “that I listen, that I seek to understand, that I pray for patience as well as courage. It means that I ask better questions, and I work hard to stay quiet long enough to understand the answers.”4 I don’t willfully argue, harshly criticize, or insult another person or their position on an idea. Unfortunately, society continues to polarize to extremes where we used to find some common ground, or at least respectfully agree to disagree.
With the increased use of quick (and usually thoughtless) comments on social media, reasonable debate has become a rare practice. The COVID pandemic exacerbated the communication breakdown, and we increasingly used social media to replace gathering in person; therefore, there was no need for the same kind of conversation. The world spent at least two years in semi-isolation during lockdown and “COVID-19 negatively affected multiple aspects of the lives of patients, families, and communities, including the severe economic consequences of the pandemic-related recession and the mental health toll from the disruption in relationships and social networks.”5 A concerted effort to redeem communication is possible, but must rise from a foundation of a transformed attitude in each of us. Glyer suggests, “I begin with humility, assuming that there are things I need to learn. I proceed with curiosity, eager to gain new information, and to understand different ways of interpreting that information, and I exercise patience with myself and with others.”6 The time to begin this practice is now, and not just with adults.
I am a high school teacher for two online academies. One of my courses is Creative Writing, an interactive Zoom meeting with several students who engage with each other each week. They complement and critique each other’s work in the style of the Inklings. The other course is Western Civilization taught through the lens of the humanities. Nearly all of my students are homeschooled, but the variety of backgrounds is immense. Most Christian denominations are represented, from Greek Orthodox and Catholic to Lutheran, with a sprinkling of families who are of other faiths. Naturally, the scope of interests ranges from strictly conservative (contemporary/pop worship music) to worldly (Metallica). Some read Harry Potter; others consider the series an anathema. Family members and social circles contribute an early influence on students, and strong opinions are formed before adulthood. The proper way to engage with those opinions outside of close social circles should be taught early in life, ideally at school age.
My first week of my first year of teaching, one of the students asked if I would carry on the tradition held by some instructors and have a “student of the week.” Not sure if I was clear on the intent, (how does a teacher choose a favorite each week?) I gave the idea careful consideration and came up with a solution. Each week, we would have a Cultural Comment of the day with one student presenting something that they felt was representative of today’s culture and why they thought it was influential. The student would be in the spotlight for that week, but the time would have a purpose applicable to the class. Additionally, classmates would have the opportunity to get to know each other beyond the Adobe chat box. They could present an idea based on their personal conviction, but they needed to defend their choice as well, preventing someone from choosing something just to be scandalous or argumentative. The class had the chance to ask questions and offer ideas, but they needed to be curious and civil as well.
At first, the students were a bit intimidated. They could choose to talk about the safe thing, but what backlash awaited if they presented what they really wanted to talk about? The first week or two, we shared common ground. Who wouldn’t love Jane Austen or a Beethoven symphony? Then a student tested the waters with why they loved their youth group. We found out that a kind and congenial youth group is not common. Several classmates shared their stories. I held my breath. Then came the questions about what qualities make the best youth groups and encouragement for those who were bruised by past experiences. The next week, someone said that a certain Christian film increased their belief, and others countered with views against the film, but the exchange was kind and honest. Soon, difficult topics became part of our weekly schedule. Students would occasionally pass an idea by me via email if the book or band was controversial. I assured them that they were free to share, but there may be questions from the class, so come prepared!
Some weeks, the topics became difficult: mental health issues, discord among family and friends, and controversial media that was viewed in one household and forbidden in another. One day, a student shared that she watched Game of Thrones and read the book series, adding that next to The Lord of the Rings, Thrones was her favorite. This is not the average entertainment choice for homeschool kids, so I took a deep breath and cheerfully said, “That is an interesting choice! Tell us why,” then prepared for the comments because this would be a true test of hospitality. I was thankful that Game of Thrones was discussed after weeks of presentations because graciousness and curiosity were now a habit. Nobody leaped to conclusions; in fact, we found out that she watched it through a media filter and in the company of her parents and they talked about the plot, virtue (and lack of it), and the characters. The student was able to support her views, and we all learned a bit more. The good questions continued time and again and reactions were measured. I smiled when I heard the students gently correct each other with an occasional “Remember! Use intellectual hospitality!” They offered compassion and a listening heart. They learned that many of their peers are fighting battles we cannot see. Friendships were forged in that class and many of my students told me that one of the best lessons they learned in the course is how to engage with others with whom they disagree. A few students and parents have told me that intellectual hospitality should be taught at some point to every high school student. I prayed that they would take this new skill into the world, especially into their college years.
Disagreements and difficult relationships are inevitable but changing our approach from stubbornness and anger to patience and taking the time to listen will always be a benefit. Intellectual hospitality is not accomplished through sarcasm, an irritated silence, or a raised eyebrow. After all, what is to be learned if you refuse to listen? We do not have to agree, but practice understanding (and it does take practice) by engaging with curiosity and listening to the other person, asking questions for clarification, and reminding oneself that this act signals the return of the art of civility. You will be an example to others who may notice and continue to act in like manner.
Diana Pavlac Glyer sums up the concept best in her Oxford lecture “Intellectual Hospitality Part Two: Hope for Those Who are Tired of All the Fighting.” She shares her personal experience of a heated disagreement with a friend, with her friend stating, “I completely and utterly disagree with you, but I love the reasons why you believe what you do.”7 She explains, “That, in a nutshell, is the essence of intellectual hospitality.”8
“. . . for it is the mark of an educated person to search for the same kind of clarity in each topic to the extent that the nature of the matter accepts it.” —Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics9
Notes:
1 Diana Pavlac Glyer, “Intellectual Hospitality,” accessed 28 August 2024, https://www.apu.edu/articles/intellectual-hospitality/.
2 C.S. Lewis, The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume III, letter to Eugène Vinaver (W), ed. Walter Hooper (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 2007), 1053.
3 Glyer, “Intellectual Hospitality.”
4 Ibid.
5 National Institute of Health, National Library of Medicine-National Center for Biotechnology Information, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8803391/#:~:text=COVID%2D19%20has%20negatively%20affected,in%20relationships%20and%20social%20networks, 2022, November 29. Last accessed August 31, 2024.
6 Diana Pavlac Glyer, “Intellectual Hospitality Part Two: Hope for Those Who are Tired of All the Fighting,” C.S. Lewis Summer Institute, 2022, Youtube Video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMP7SpUmvKk.
7 Diana Pavlac Glyer, “Intellectual Hospitality Part Two: Hope for Those Who are Tired of All the Fighting.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMP7SpUmvKk, 2022 C.S. Lewis Summer Institute, Oxford. Accessed August 29, 2024. I encourage the reader to also watch Glyer’s other lecture on this topic, “C.S. Lewis at Table with Dante and Zeus.” The video recording can be found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7GTtZEW9Kk.
8 Ibid.
9 Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics, 1 1.3. Translations vary slightly.
